Reflect
by Falcon226
Summary: She thinks back on what has happened up until this point. This is one of those annoying stories where they never mention the character's name, but you can figure it out easily enough. The dialogue is taken from Harry Potter book 6, but the rest is mine.


I knew that I would never be quidditch captain. Harry Potter was a great seeker by anyone's standards, and certainly the most well-known player on Gryffindor's team. I knew that Professor McGonagall would choose Harry, but I still feel disappointed that she didn't choose me. It's not like I was a bad team member. Until the accident, I had never missed a game. Oliver always used to say that I was a trooper. I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that, but he sounded proud of me whenever he said it.

There's nothing to do here, so I decided to write to Alicia. The trainee healer found some hospital stationary for me, and I suppose that it will have to do. My hand still feels shaky with a quill, but I manage to scratch my words down legibly.

I pour out my heart and soul to my best friend. I haven't seen her in months, but I wrote her every week before I ended up here at St. Mungo's. Alicia has been like a sister to me, ever since I snuck into the stands as a first year and watched the Gryffindor team practice. Since Alicia was unjustly benched that year, and Oliver wasn't quidditch captain yet, second year Alicia Spinnet made friends with the dorky first year who worshipped the Gryffindor quidditch team. It wasn't until I became a Gryffindor chaser myself that I realized how awful a captain Tessa Richards was.

I remind Alicia of all of this in the letter, although she probably knows Tessa's faults better than I do. Alicia knows; Alicia will understand. What I don't tell her and what I hope that she understands is how strong my desire is to be captain. I want to prove to myself that I can be a better captain than Tessa Richards, Oliver Wood, Angelina Johnson, or Harry Potter. And now I'll never have that chance.

I'm sure that Alicia wanted to be captain too, but we both knew in our hearts that McGonagall would choose Angelina. Although she was a good friend of ours, Angelina had more charisma than us, and was always popular. In my opinion, Alicia and Angelina were nearly equal in skill, but Ange must have struck McGonagall as the better leader, and the one to wear the captain's badge. Obviously, our decisive head of house had never seen one of Alicia's study group sessions. When it came to homework, Alicia was the one who always knew who needed help and did a darn good job of helping.

I finish my letter to Alicia. I wonder if someone gave her word that I was nearly killed. Maybe she visited me while I was down for the count. Oh well. Now she'll know.

Feeling myself growing tired, I set the letter aside and close my eyes. Before I can rest, I remember what I said to Harry Potter after confirming my suspicions that he had been made quidditch captain.

"I thought you'd get that, well done," I say, with a smile I hope looks convincing. I point to the badge on his chest. "Tell me when you call trials!"

"Don't be stupid," Harry says. "You don't need to try out. I watched you play for five years."

He's taller than I am now. I remember that I used to be taller than Harry, but now he looks down on me. All of the quidditch captains that I knew were tall.

"You mustn't start off like that," I say. It's now or never that I tell him how I would hold trials if I was captain. "For all you know, there's someone much better than me out there. Good teams have been ruined before now because Captains just kept playing the old faces, or letting in their friends…"

I'm sure that the reason Tessa's team was so dreadful was that she had done just what I cautioned Harry not to do. She used the same beaters that had played the year previous under Charlie Weasley. What Tessa hadn't done was realize that those beaters had put on a considerable amount of weight over the summer, and hadn't thought to stay fit for the good of the team. Alicia would have been a starting chaser if Tessa hadn't played the same decent chasers that she'd used the last year. Angelina Johnson was the only new face on the team, and I know for a fact that Tessa hadn't even bothered to watch Alicia's trial. I had watched that lousy captain from the stands.

Just before I drift off to sleep, the thought that my seventh year was ruined by a silly necklace from someone with a wicked sense of humor saddens me. I recall Leanne, my surrogate friend for Alicia, there. I only wished that Alicia was the one calling my name, holding my hand, and preventing me from killing myself in my struggles. I feel myself smile as I drift off to sleep.


End file.
